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Now it Springs Forth...

3/26/2025

4 Comments

 
Picturefig branch, budding
“Behold! I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth; do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43

I have a fig tree in my front yard, and for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been watching the bare branches, checking every day for the first signs of life. This morning when I left my house, still nothing. But this evening as I trudged home from work, I glanced over to see each spindly finger tipped with green. As I felt my breath rise in my chest, something broke within me, a river coursing through parched paths singing, “What fresh glory! What deep, holy wonder!”

This miracle got me thinking about new life and how we come to perceive it in the world. By the time the daffodils poke their heads above the soil and the buds form on the trees, it’s obvious. Spring has arrived (at least seasonally, if not officially on the calendar). But what about the months and weeks and even days before, when the bulbs are sending down the roots and unfurling from their casings? The plants are growing, preparing, and even changing on a cellular level, but most of us can’t tell the difference. There is life coursing through those xylem and phloem, but when I look out my window I can’t see it.

As the prophet Isaiah speaks to the people of God in exile – a people who have been watching and waiting and wondering  “how long, O Lord?” – he speaks of God’s love, protection, and care. And in the midst of the promises he proposes this question: “I am about to do a new thing; now it springs forth; do you not perceive it?”  I suspect the answer to that question was “no” or at least “not yet.” If they could see this new thing, they wouldn’t need a prophet to point the way. But God is faithful in this way too, with poets and prophets, preachers and teachers, babies and blossoms ready to help us look beyond the barren framework of this life and into something more, just beyond our ability to see it.

I’m also aware that I’m musing on new life as my grandmother nears death. She’s always been someone with an artist’s vision, able to see beauty and potential, holy happenings in the most unlikely places. For most of her 97 years she’s been a paragon of prayer, speaking in words only she and God could understand. But now her language is only breath. Soon, that too will end. I wonder what is becoming inside of her? What new life is pulsing within her spiritual veins? Will her last breath here herald a budding in her eternal home? We can’t see it, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening – and what a river she will be! Her prayer and praise rarely ceased in this life, and it will flow without bounds in the next, where she knows fully and is fully known. What we see as an end may in fact be a bursting through, a springing forth, into God’s glory.

So, as those left to peer through the mirror dimly, may our hearts always be full of awe and wonder. Let us approach the world with an attitude of curiosity and a deep sense of hope. Because God is always doing a new thing.
​
Update: My grandmother died on the very day I wrote this piece, perhaps even the very minute the fig tree budded. May heaven be filled with her song, and the earth with her sweet fruit.

4 Comments

Holy Week Fair

2/3/2022

1 Comment

 
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I was hosting a webinar recently and mentioned a Holy Week Fair we offered for our children and families last year. Our church traditionally hosts the Easter Egg Hunt on Palm Sunday, and I wanted to offer a little more faith formation around it.
​This fair is best for kids 3- 12 years old. It's written with multiple stations that are best set up in different rooms, but can be adapted for a single space or even outdoors. It really depends on your space. Be creative!
All page numbers refer to Growing in God’s Love: A Story Bible  
Click Here for a PDF of the Directions.

Pre-Event, Opening Set Up

In largest room, gym, fellowship hall, etc.
  • I recommend you set up a few crafts that kids/families can do as they arrive. There are a myriad of pre-packaged crafts you can purchase from retailers.  You can also construct your own that tend to be better quality and less money.
    • Craft bags – always helpful to have something to carry your other crafts in. You can buy bags with Easter coloring pages printed on them, or you can offer various stickers and markers for decoration
    • Holy Week Passport – Here’s a free passport from Build Faith. You can put a stamp or sticker in each one as kids travel through the fair, or you can save it for the actual event/services at your church - https://buildfaith.org/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Holy-Week-Passport-Generic.pdf
  • Game – Palm Branch Pick Up
    • Construction Paper with Palm printed on one side and numbers on the other. Or just Green paper with numbers 1-10 on one side.
    • Scatter Palms in the game area, number side down.
    • Divide kids into 2 teams and give each kid a number.
    • Call out a number and they have 5 second to gather as many squares as they can. Then they add up the numbers, and the team with the highest number wins and has to call out a reason to praise Jesus.
  • We divided kids into smaller groups for 7-12 to travel through stations. It helped to have multiple crafts and games in the main room for those who were waiting or finished.
 
First Station - Palm Sunday Obstacle Course
this works best in a hallway leading to a room or gathering area at the end
Set up
  • Hobby horse
  • Rubber discs about one hop apart going down the hallways
  • Green streamers taped at various angles to create a “laser maze” in the hallway like this
  • Plastic eggs, rice, and tape in gathering area/room at the end
 Obstacle Course
  • Read P. 270 “Jesus Visits Jerusalem” (based on Luke 19:29-40). Stop at “they expected great things from this teacher from Galilee.”
  • Explain the obstacle course and send kids down one at a time
    • First, get the “Donkey” (hobby horse) (you may choose to hold the donkey and not straddle or “ride” it)
    • Then ride it, stepping only on the “cloaks” (rubber discs, carpet squares, tape marks, etc) put on the floor.
    • Dodge the Palm Fronds maze.
    • You may decide to have them come back or stop at the end.
    • Once all the kids have completed the obstacle course, read the rest of the story on P. 270, beginning with “some teachers of the law (called the Pharisees) were in the crowd.
  • Make an egg shaker because “Even the Stones will Shout”
    • Fill a plastic Easter egg with dried rice or beans. 
    • Tape it closed.
    • Read the final line on p. 271 again, and have all kids shout and shake their eggs “I tell you the truth, if they were silent and did not sing praises, the very stone on the earth beneath us would shout out!”
  
Second Station - Maundy Thursday
could be kitchen or classroom near the palm Sunday obstacle course hallway
Set -up
  • Grape Juice
  • Hawaiian rolls, or bread
  • Cups, plates
  • Soap, paper towels
 Snack Time
  • You may start out by reading selections from p. 272 “A Passover Meal” or tell the story in your own words.
  • First – Everyone Washes hands – Remember that Jesus washed his disciples feet and said, “whoever would be first among you must be the servant of all.” (If there is not a sink in the room, you can use hand sanitizer or wipes)
  • Ask a child to say a prayer to bless the meal – “Jesus started by blessing the food, can one of you offer a blessing for our snack?”
  • Read from p. 326 “seeing Jesus” from “I want you to remember four things:
    • The first
    • The second
    • The third
    • The fourth
    • Use the “see” activity to create a circle of love.
 
Third Station – Gethsemane and Good Friday
Classroom, garden, tent, sanctuary
Set up
  • Places for the children to sit and hear a story, carpet, carpet squares, chairs, blanket, etc.
 Garden of Gethsemane
  • Have children get comfy, sit, lie down, be ready for a story.
  • Talk about Jesus going to the Garden of Gethsemane to Pray with his friends.
  • Then, hard things started to happen. (you can tell in your own words, using this outline, or you can use p. 274 starting at the end of the second paragraph “The temple guards grabbed Jesus and arrested him”)
  • Jesus was arrested.
  • He was taken to court and tried, first before Pilate like a judge, and then before the people, like a jury. Even though he hadn’t done anything wrong, he was found guilty and sentence to death.
 Good Friday
  • Then, the very worst thing happened. The soldiers led Jesus up a hill to a cross. And Jesus died.
  • Have another adult turn off the light in the room at this point. If you’re outdoors, you might drape yourself in a black cloth, or hold the cloth over the children to create shade. (this would need four adults and some coordination.)
  • His followers were so sad. They couldn’t imagine living without Jesus. They went home to cry.

Fourth Station – Easter
classroom (can be the same classroom as good Friday), tent outside, garden
Set-up
  • Video and speakers (optional)
  • Resurrections Cross Craft / Sun Catcher
 Easter
  • Jesus’ followers were very scared and sad, but we know that’s not the end of the story.
  • We showed a video we created of our Church folks telling the Easter Story from Mark. You are welcome to use our video, or create your own.
  • OR read P. 276 “Women at the Tomb”
  • Resurrection Crosses Craft
    • Have the kids turn something that is about death (the cross) into something beautiful and full of life – stained glass.
    • You can buy kits to make cross sun catchers using paint or stained glass.
    • You can print or draw your own crosses on transparency paper and let kids use permanent markers to fill them in like stained glass.
 
Closing, Egg Hunt
  • Gather back in main room. Kids can do other crafts or play the palm game while waiting for all to finish.
  • Have the kids help you review the key parts of the story.
  • Close with shouts of praise telling the good news OR egg hunt.
  • You can say something like,
    • “Jesus’s disciples were really surprised that he was alive. We aren’t surprised because we know the story, but they were so shocked and happy. We search for eggs because it’s a happy surprise to see what’s inside.” OR
    • “we search for eggs because we are always looking for Jesus. He’s not on the cross. He’s alive!” 

If you feel like adapting even more, I patterned this off of an event I did with my amazing colleague Katie Kinnison in Columbus, Ohio. We offered a three hour VBS-style event on Good Friday for kids and families that was a lot of fun.  We called it "Thank God It's Good Friday." It could be great to add more of the stories from Jesus' last week, like the anointing at Bethany (John 12: 1-8), Jesus cursing the fig tree and/or cleansing the temple (Mark 11:12-25).

​

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Trying to be a Faithful Family or "Why are we up so early?"

4/24/2017

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​“Mom! Easter sunrise breakfast!” called my bleary-eyed but excited daughter. Since anticipation is part of the fun, I told her about our new tradition before she went to sleep on Saturday night so she was ready to hold me accountable the next morning. “We’re still doing it, right?”

With two clergy parents serving different churches, Sundays can be a bit hectic for our family. And EASTER Sunday? Well, let’s just say the bunny doesn’t visit our house. He’s too tired.

But I want Easter to be special. I want it to be about more than egg hunts and baskets. I want it to be about more than church. I know that sounds strange, but my kids get a LOT of church – and they love it. We love it. We need it. A Christian community that worships, prays, learns and serves together is vital for faith development.

But we can’t just read the Bible at church. And my kids need to hear me pray not just at the front of the sanctuary, but at the dinner table and the bedside and even (sometimes) early in the morning, wrapped up in blankets in the front yard.  Because the most important faith mentors in the life of a child are not their Sunday School teachers or their youth group leaders or even their pastors. Children learn faith from their families – from their parents and grandparents and all the many beautiful iterations of kinship.
​

Parents, if we want our kids to know God, if we want our kids to love Jesus, if we want our kids to feel the joy of Holy Spirit or learn the holy stories, it’s on us. It’s a big responsibility (even for pastor parents, believe me), and it does require a little thought and effort (even for pastor parents), but it’s not a burden. And it doesn’t have to be hard. God is all around us, and opportunities to weave faith into our daily lives abound.

That’s why I love Traci Smith’s new book, “Faithful Families.” She offers simple, powerful practices for all the ordinary and extraordinary moments of family life. From long car rides, interminable rainy days, and mealtime mania to birthdays, new schools, and even times of tragedy and grief, Smith does most of the thinking and a good bit of the work to provide a ceremony, a prayer, a discussion, or an activity to make it holy. Her work is easy to access and adapt to fit the rhythms of different families. If you spend 5 minutes with this book, you’ll find something that makes you say, “we’ve gotta try that!”

Easter is a busy day for us, but it doesn’t mean we don’t have time for each other. So we gathered the powdered sugar donuts, mixed the chocolate milk, poured the coffee and set out across the front yard to find the perfect spot to watch the sunrise.

“Early in the morning, while it was still dark the women set out for the tomb…” I began the story.

“Just like us! It’s early! It’s dark but it’s getting light…” my 4 year old son interrupted.

Yes, just like us.
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Preparing for Christmas: a Guide for Busy Families

11/28/2016

1 Comment

 
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Christmas is coming. All is merry and bright (and a little bit maddening). If you are like me, you are already feeling behind. The house is a mess. The decorations are still in the attic. And I have no idea where to find the Advent calendar. It stayed out until Easter last year...
Be not afraid dear ones. Jesus is coming. Here are some practices to center you and your family around the love and light of Christmas:
  • Use the Faith 5 to start a ritual that will continue to bless your family into the new year and many years to come! 1) SHARE your highs and lows. 2) READ the Bible. I recommend Deep Blue Storybook Bible for its awesome notes for parents and great questions at the end of every story. But you can also read a Christmas story or Advent devotion. 3) TALK about the story. For young kids, one question or wondering statement is enough. "I wonder if Mary was afraid..." 4) PRAY about the highs and lows of the day or say a memorized prayer. 5) BLESS - we like to say, "God loves you and so do I" and  "sleep well beloved child of God." A friend says, "I love you almost as much as God." You may even use, "I love you to the moon and back." The important part is that everyone gets a blessing, even the grown-ups!
    In our house, we often share around the dinner table and rest before bed. Honestly, we skip read and talk when we're pressed for bedtime, but we never ever skip the prayer and blessing. To bless your children, and then receive that blessing back is deeply holy. If you do nothing else this Advent, begin a family blessing.
    This is my top recommendation because it's simple but extremely powerful. If you miss a day (or 12) that's okay! Because you are starting a practice of faith and family that will last a lifetime. As your kids grow, you may leave the storybook Bible behind, the questions will be harder, the "lows" of the day may get lower. But the love and faith and family remain.
  • An Illustrated Advent for Families is fabulous for all ages, especially if you love to color. It includes 5 weeks of family devotions, coloring sheets, an Advent calendar with activities, and a "build a nativity." Created by artists, pastors, and parents, this resource has everything you want and it's all excellent.
  • Sign up for Instant Advent for fun daily videos  from SparkHouse. This is free and great for preschoolers!
  • If you're up for something a bit more involved, try a Jesse tree. This practice offers daily stories and scriptures from throughout the bible to show the wider arc of the 
    coming of the Messiah. Usually, each day/story has a corresponding ornament to hang on the tree. There are lots of versions, but - Flame Creative Kids Ministry Jesse Tree is my top recommendation for you, Busy Family.  Mina Munns - artist and priest - has all the ornaments ready to print and color, along with the stories and questions to discuss as you color.
  • An Advent calendar is a great way to count down the days until Christmas. Try this Acts of Kindness Advent Calendar for simple, concrete ways to live out your faith.
  • Light a candle. Breathe. Say, “Jesus is coming.” Even if it only happens once or twice this season, it will be Holy. I love to put a family Advent wreath on the dinner table. It can be a lovely heirloom or just  4-5 candles or lights from around your house. Light once candle every night the first week (that’s now). Two the second week. (You get the picture). Light the 5th candle on Christmas eve and try something like this to make it extra special.
Give yourself a break. You don't have to do it all. Pick the practice that connects with your family and enjoy it! If you miss a day, don't worry. 
Jesus is coming.
And that's miracle enough.

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Cross-Gen Worship Resources (or "How do you do this?")

5/13/2016

2 Comments

 
I've had a lot of requests recently for information about how to build or begin Cross-Gen Worship in a church. "How do you do this?" people ask.

The short answer: "by the grace of God." (I'm working on a case study to explore the longer answer and will post in the coming months.) Each congregation, each sanctuary, each worship service has it's own unique gifts and challenges. I don't believe there isn't a set formula for "how to" but I encourage you to pray, dream, and listen to the calling of the Holy Spirit. 

And also know, I do NOT do this alone. I may be a part-time solo pastor, but I have colleagues and mentors and friends all over the globe whose work inspires, challenges, informs, and contributes to this work. They can be your community too!

This is my current resources list for creating worship love. It is by no means exhaustive, so please share your favorite resources with a one sentence note about what makes them wonderful and I'll keep updating the list!


Getting Started - blogs, articles, and books for information, education, and inspiration
  • ​The Art of Curating Worship: Reshaping the Role of a Worship Leader by Mark Pierson – a good introductory text to thinking outside the box as a worship leader as well as creating prayer stations and alternative worship experiences.
  • Let’s Kill Sunday School (Before it kills the church) by Rich Melheim & Friends – Don’t be scared away by the “click-bait” title! This is a great book has a good intro to Cross+Gen worship and education as well numerous case studies for how (and how not) to make it a reality in your church. I’ll be writing a case study for the second edition of this book.
  • Faith Inkubators -The work of Dr. Rich Melheim, books, curriculum, and other resources for “Faith Five,” “Killing Sunday School, Birthing Cross-Gen Worship,” and more.
  • Breaking New Bread -   “A blog about forming children to be ministers, cross-generational worship, theology of childhood, and catechesis. Also, crafts.” For "Pew Projects" that are introduced during the Word with Children then the kids work on during the sermon.
  • reFocus Ministry - "Our hope is that you find the resources, encouragement, and support you and your church needs as you transition into intergenerational  and family-focused ministry."
  • Clay Fire Media - Great articles for those new to creative worship as well as continuing inspiration that follows the liturgical year. Blog post can be delivered to your inbox.
  • GenOn Ministries - From Liz Lyn Perraud, "One of the 4 parts of weekly LOGOS (that we teach and resource) is Worship Arts and so we provide for churches to regularly involve children and youth in worship leadership. ​"
  • KarenWareJackson.com - yes, that's me. Don't miss my resources page with pictures, videos, webinars, an example family worship guide, and more!
  • Facebook Groups 
    • Hope4CE – variety of posts on Christian Education, worship, workshops, books, and other resources.
    • Killing Sunday School/Birthing Cross+Gen Worship  - a whole team of cross-gen worship and education experts and practitioners at your fingertips. Go ask a question!
Worship Resources and Curricula
  • A Sanctified Art - Videos, banner designs, art work, graphics, liturgy - you name it, they've got it. And it's GORGEOUS.
  • ​The Work Of The People –  for visual liturgy, benedictions, scripture, and prayers
  • Illustrated Children’s Ministry - resource for Illustrations, coloring sheets, art work, curricula, and leader guides for use with all ages in worship.
  • Still Waters – Theresa Cho, creative worship maven
  • Flame Creative Kids Ministry  - wonderful site for interactive experiences for children, easily searchable by key word
  • Worshiping With Children - Ideas for engaging all ages in worship. Follows the lectionary cycle and posts worship aids one month in advance.
  • Bible Songs Cross+Gen - (Faith Inkubators) an "edu-worship" curriculum full of visual and interactive components based on Rich Melheim's theory of families and all generations learning together.
  • Seasons of the Spirit: Fusion - A worship resource based on the Revised Common Lectionary (RCL) that is "created in community to support and inspire any worship leader in the church." You'll find liturgy, prayer stations, art ideas, biblical background, and much more for every season of the church year!
  • Storypath-  - a resource from Union Presbyterian Seminary that links children’s books to lectionary readings. It can be great for inspiration for working with children, as well as visual images and stories for the whole congregation. Follows the lectionary and posts at least one month in advance.
  • ScriptureColor - Scriptural coloring pages by artist/priest Eliza Buckakjian-Tweedy.
  • Facebook Groups - These are public groups of pastors, educators, and worship leaders sharing ideas and resources. Search for the group, request to join, and start sharing!
    • Lent Consortium
    • Advent on the Brain?  
    • Pentecost Planning
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Because You Are a Friendly Church...

4/8/2016

3 Comments

 
PictureWe welcome everyone at our church! Even Emily!
Dear Friendly Church,

Many churches struggle to welcome children and their families into worship, but not you! You are flexible and kind when kids get crazy and noisy. You understand the importance of regular worship in the lives and faith of children, and you embrace the gifts they bring to your community. 

But I notice that while you smile and nod from your pew, you keep a wide berth around those lively worshiping kids. If you have a special worship space for families, it’s often full of kids with nary a (non-staff) adult in sight. That’s okay. I’m guessing you aren’t excited about praying with crayons and play dough (although if you are you NEED to check it out because it’s for anyone who wants to try a hands-on worship experience.) Smiling is a great first step! But it’s time for us all to do more.
​

I encourage you do more than watch from a safe distance and try to interact with the kids during worship. I understand why you hesitate. Maybe it’s been a long time since you’ve talked to a five year old and you don’t know what to say. Maybe you have trouble hearing children’s voices or getting down to their level.  Maybe you worry they will be afraid or that they won’t want to talk to you. Or maybe it just never occurred to you to have a conversation with a kid!

Let me assure you now, a child may be nervous or shy – he might hide when you try to say hello, she might giggle and run away when you make eye contact – but they DO want to talk to you! You are interesting and kind. You are fun and engaging. You are wise and thoughtful. You care about children and want to teach them about Christ and worship. You are EXACTLY who kids want to meet when they come to church.

Sure, it’s fun to play with peers – but most kids spend plenty of time with friends of the same age. Yes, it’s important that the children engage with the pastors and children’s ministry folks. But you have the light of Christ in your heart too, and it’s time to let it shine!

We need more adults in the pews with the kids – coloring, singing, praying and listening. This will help the kids engage and learn even more about worship. But you don’t have to change the way you worship to build relationships with kids in your church. When you pass the peace, make sure to talk to at least one child. You might try to join them in for one hymn or for the prayer. Connect with families and kids before or after church. Or one of these ideas for interacting with kids in worship.

Our children need to know your name, and you need to know their names. They need to know what you love, whom you love and how you love – and vice versa! You’ve been worshiping alongside one another and it is fabulous! Now it’s time to worship TOGETHER - to pray with each other, to love another, to build the Body of Christ together.

So start with “Hi! I’m ___________. What’s your name?” And don’t stop. Keep showing interest and watch the relationships grow!

Love, 
A Friend
 
PS  - Try replacing all references to “children,” “kids,” or “families” with VISITORS for encouragement to welcome new folks into your community.

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The church picnic is a great time to make new friends!
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Why We Worship Together (even when we don't like it).

3/8/2016

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PicturePRO TIP - Dump Legos onto carpet or padded surface BEFORE worship to avoid the tumult of plastic bricks shifting in bins.
A deafening rumble filled the sanctuary. Bricks cascaded against one another and ricocheted off the walls. Towers smashed to the ground and rose from the rubble as playful fingers reveled in order and chaos. It was marvelous mayhem, but very slowly and very loudly, a glorious dwelling began to emerge.

Our text for worship was the story of Solomon building the temple, so I encouraged the children to work together to build a house for God out of Legos. It was a great idea! Who knew that tiny plastic bricks could be so LOUD?

I raised my voice, my gut twisting as I watched the faces of my congregation. Most strained to hear and stay focused. A few gave up listening to the sermon, but seemed perfectly happy watching the kids build. And of course, some sat arms crossed, eyes rolling, lips pursed, huffing with annoyance at each new crash. (Why is the perfect piece always at the bottom of the bin?)

Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. – 1 Corinthians 12: 27

In our small but mighty church, we worship together (even when we don't like it) because we are one body—young and old, silent and speaking, calm and fidgeting. We welcome and engage everyone because we need each other. 

We envision lips singing as only lips can sing while hands lift, grasp, and carry as is their strength. We imagine minds blossoming with wisdom and ears straining for understanding. We see wild, unkempt hair bouncing in the wind of the Spirit and hearts beating in time, pumping the life-blood through this fully engaged body of worship. And it is unspeakably beautiful. And it is terribly hard.

We don’t always enjoy the gifts of other members of the body – especially when they differ so vastly from our own. An ear is not made for dancing, so when she listens to the soft thuds and heavy breathing of a body in motion, she doesn’t grasp its joy. A foot is not designed to see, so he doesn’t recognize the glorious interplay of light and shadow through which he walks. But that doesn’t mean we don’t need each other. It doesn’t mean we aren’t part of the same body. It just means we are different—and that’s okay!

If the whole body were an elder with a penchant for tradition, where would the sense of adventure be? If the whole body were a frazzled family just trying to get it all done, where would the sense of peace and patience reside? If the whole body were a toddler waving his arms in joy one minute and weeping with frustration the other, God save us.

But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as GOD chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many members, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” (1 Cor 12:18-20) 

We need each other – not just to worship but to survive. As much as we idolize the power of the individual, we build our society with common work and care for one another. A doctor needs a farmer to grow food. A farmer needs a politician to legislate good agricultural policy. A politician needs a teenager to speak truth and make passionate pleas to remember her true calling—to serve the body.

Church is one of the few spaces left where people of all ages and experiences stand side by side, where we speak in unison and sing in harmony, where we unite into one body. If we don’t hear, see, touch, and even smell each other, how can we ever hope to connect and experience each other’s gifts? If we don’t share one sanctuary, how can we be knit together by one Spirit?

I love the song “One” by U2, but when I looked up the lyrics I realized I was blissfully belting out the wrong words for a key phrase. I sang: “We’re one but we’re not the same. We’ve got to carry each other” – like it’s a burden or a charge we must accept. I sang this line as a call to action, which has its place, but that’s not the lyric. One small word makes all the difference: “We’re one but we’re not the same. We get to carry each other.”

It’s not a burden, it’s a gift.
To carry another’s heart and to offer yours in turn is a gift.
To depend on one another is a blessing.
To misunderstand and even grumble, but still love one another is sacred.
To join many members in becoming one body is holy.
We get to carry each other until that day, that glorious day, when we are truly One.


As I offered the charge and benediction to the worshiping body, I held the house the children built for God—a patchwork of color and size, towers and windows, flowers and lions and dinosaurs and people joined into one sacred whole. It didn’t come together silently or easily, but it was beautiful and holy. I looked at faces filling the sanctuary: some radiant, a few disgruntled, all beloved, all connected. Together, we build a dwelling place of the Holy One not out of Legos or cinderblocks, but out of worship and service, out of tears and laughter, out of love for one another and for the world. We are the body of Christ, the church.

Thanks be to God.

This post originally appeared as "One Body" in Fidelia's Sisters, the online magazine of The Young Clergy Women Project.


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God's Lego House and one of its architects
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Kids Talking in Church and Running in the Halls?

3/1/2016

6 Comments

 
Picturethe author, giving the universal sign for "quiet please" - Note the smile with closed lips :)

Good news! You have children at your church! And if they dart around chattering and giggling, they feel happy and comfortable within your community and your building. Good job church! Of course, these behaviors can be distracting and sometimes dangerous, so here are some tips for supporting kids as they learn how to behave in a church community:


Your goal is to problem solve, not punish.  If the child is doing something dangerous (like running through a crowded hallway or sliding down a bannister) intervene. Be careful to support, not scold.

  • If the behavior isn’t an immediate risk, make a plan. It is better to speak to the family, teacher, or pastor about getting a small group of interested adults together to talk through the situation.
    Create a consensus of what behaviors to expect of children at certain times and places within the church. When kids receive consistent support from adults, they learn appropriate behavior more quickly. An agreement also helps you know when to step in and when, in the immortal words of Elsa, to “let it go!”
    ​
  • If a kid gets particularly restless during a quiet moment, try using a silent cue to help the child calm down. A certain amount of noise and movement is normal for children and part of their worship presence. Running in the aisles might not work for your church, but find ways for kids to worship with movement.
    It is also important for children to learn when to be quiet and still. It is vital that the gesture be both silent and kind (see picture above). A child or parent who feels scolded will be defensive and hurt. If you feel comfortable, a gentle hand on a shoulder or moving to sit closer can help a child calm down and be still. 


  • Redirection is a great way to quickly change a behavior. Try one of these tips to keep a child engaged in a worship service.  Or if your main concern is a Hunger Games cookie cornucopia during coffee hour, you might redirect the children with a special job. Instead of rushing to be the first to grab those yummy brownies, they could work together to serve the lemonade. Kids who try the run the gauntlet of 90-year-olds with canes might find purpose as a greeter, a door holder, or a “special escort” for their senior friends.
    By giving kids a job, you give them a role and a place within the community. You give them the chance to serve others, just like Jesus! This can be a powerful moment for the child and for the church.

  • If you must call out to stop a particularly dangerous behavior, use the words for the action you wish to see. Say, “walk” instead of “don’t run.” “Stop” as opposed to “don’t light your friend’s hair on fire!”
    As in any other situation, eye contact = connection. Sit or crouch down to the child’s eye level so that you can interact in a way that is less-threatening. 
    Speak quietly and calmly. If you are too angry to speak kindly, you are not the person to intervene. Get help.
    Use the child’s name and state your concern. “Sarah, I’m worried you might hurt yourself or someone else.” Redirect. “Can you draw me a picture of you jumping? Later, we’ll ask your grown-ups if I can take you and your friends to the playground.”


  • Call upon the Holy Spirit because you're going to need the patience of a saint! When children play in a safe environment they often get lost in their excitement. Be prepared to deal with these behaviors over and over (and over and over). And don't forget the rest of the fruits of the Spirit. You'll need plenty of love, joy, peace, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control too!

​Please note, each child, each family, each situation will be unique. Supporting children as they learn how to interact in a cross-generational community is never simple or easy. There are a host of reasons why a child may behave in a certain way - from a sensory processing disorder to a fitful night's sleep.  Make sure to connect with the whole family, and seek to be a friend. Play, laugh, and talk to the kids, so if you need to offer direction to create a safer or more considerate space, they will be ready to listen to you.

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What To Do When a Noisy Family Comes to Church

2/22/2016

20 Comments

 
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Smile - even if you’re nervous and don’t know how to deal with children, even if you’re annoyed that kids kick the pews, even if you worry the baby may scream and interrupt the sermon, even if you wonder why they didn’t take those kids to the nursery, especially if you are happy they came to church. Because you’ve been blessed with the chance to be like Jesus - to teach and listen and care for the littlest among us.

​Here’s how:
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  • Say a prayer that Christ will open your heart to the wild, wiggly, shy, kind, thoughtful, silly, sweet children in your church. Then go where God leads - even if it means moving seats to get close enough to interact with that family (you know the one, with kids that are always crawling all over the pews or toddler that sings potty songs during the silent prayer).
    We all need help. We all need to experience the love and grace of Christ from another person. Guess what? If you are reading this, that person is YOU!

  • Introduce yourself, and not just to the grown-ups! If your body will cooperate, crouch down or sit so that you and the child are on the same level. Offer your hand for a shake or a high five. Say what you wish to be called- whether it’s Mrs. Roper, Mr. Pete, or Grandma Sally - and ask their name.
    Some children might be too shy to respond so you may need to ask an adult later, but pay attention to the child and be patient. Remember their names (and ages and whatever else you learn about what makes them unique and wonderful). Don’t be afraid to write them down.


  • Kids very rarely arrive to church empty handed, so look for their hands. Has he brought in a special toy? Make sure to introduce yourself to Mr. Bear, Pretty Baby, or Big Truck. Do she have a pack of crayons? Grab a pencil that you can pass along when those crayons end up on the floor, and make sure she has enough paper. Does he have a book? Ask, “What are you reading?” or “Can I see the pictures too?”
    Show interest in the things that they love.


  • Look the kids in the eye and SMILE. Whether we are 1 month, 1 year, 11 years, or 100 years old, eye contact = connection. You can generate a lot of joy with a game of peekaboo! Babies, preschoolers, even older children enjoy a special wink or a silly face.

  • Help the family follow the worship service. This can be as simple as finding the right page in the hymnal or the bible, or helping young readers find their place in prayer.
    Children also benefit from simple explanations and visual cues, so use yourself as a model for worship. “This is how I pray, with my hands open and eyes closed. Can you show me how you pray? Let’s help Mr. Bear pray.”


  • Point out interesting things in the worship space - like stained glass windows, banners, the baptismal font or altar rail. Make sure to direct their attention to important moments in the service -like the priest breaking the bread or the pastor reading the gospel.

  • Draw a picture of the scripture and give it to to the child. Don’t worry if you aren’t an artist. Remember, a picture (and the effort and intention) is worth a thousand words, especially to a child.

  • Make sure to pass the offering plate to the kids. Everyone has gifts to offer to God - it might be a picture or a stone or a hug - but we all need the chance to give. We dishonor children and God when we assume they don’t have anything to offer. Extra points if you help them prepare their gift so they are ready for the offering moment.

  • If you are willing and able, ask if you can hold the baby. If the adults are wrangling multiple children, often the baby is the easiest to hand off. Even with one child, a caregiver can appreciate a few minutes to focus on their own needs.
    Help out by gathering up the toys and getting juice (or coffee) during fellowship time. There are many reasons why parents may refuse, but a genuine offer of help is always appreciated.


  • Give special treats. Many of us have fond memories of church folk who always had a peppermint or stick of gum to share with kids in church. Take note, snacks can be a great way to connect and keep kids quiet, but you should always ask parents before offering food.
    Stickers, crayons, even paper clips from the bottom of your purse can be a novel toy! What counts is not the treat, but the relationship that grows in giving and receiving.


  • Say, “I’m glad you are here. It's important for kids to come to church.” (This is true, so say it like you mean it!)
    ​
In all these things, seek to build a relationship with the family. You probably won’t be able to use all these tips on the first Sunday, but if you are blessed to join them in worship for a season, you will be amazed at how you all grow in your worship of our wild and wondrous God. And it all begins with a smile and a prayer!

Picture
Images from Covenant Presbyterian Church - Columbus, OH. Photo credit - Betsy Patterson
20 Comments

Meeting God in the PrayGround

2/17/2016

3 Comments

 

​I gave this 5 minutes talk at the Association of Presbyterian Church Educators conference in January. It's "the story of a little church making space for God to bring new life out of death." It gives a little background into how we began embracing cross generational worship, and also WHY this is bringing new life to our church.
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